'Cus I'm only interesting in snippets...
About me:
* Seeker of the peace
* part time chandelier cleaner
* a legend in my own time
* oppressor of champions
* soldier of fortune
* world traveler
* all around good guy (good girl)
* international lover
* casual hero
* philosopher
* wars fucked
* beers wrestled
* equations solved
* virgins enlightened
* revolutions quelled
* tigers castrated
* orgies organized
* bar quaffed dry
* governments run
* test rockets flown
* life president of the liquitarian society Hawaii
life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, get wasted all the time, and you’ll have the time of your life!
Catching Elephant is a theme by Andy Taylor
Good News Week talking about the Westboro Baptist Church
“All that’s going through my mind is ‘Cocktopus’”
(Source: youtube.com)
Terry Hoitz: ”No, I don’t like you. I think you’re a fake cop. The sound of your piss hitting the urinal, it sounds feminine. If you were in the wild, I would attack you, even if you weren’t in my food chain. I would go out of my way to attack you. If I were a lion and you were a tuna, I would swim out in the middle of the ocean and freaking eat you and then I’d bang your tuna girlfriend.”
Allen Gamble: ”OK, first off: a lion, swimming in the ocean. Lions don’t like water. If you placed it near a river or some sort of fresh water source, that make sense. But you find yourself in the ocean, 20 foot wave, I’m assuming off the coast of South Africa, coming up against a full grown 800 pound tuna with his 20 or 30 friends, you lose that battle, you lose that battle 9 times out of 10. And guess what, you’ve wandered into our school of tuna and we now have a taste of lion. We’ve talked to ourselves. We’ve communicated and said ‘You know what, lion tastes good, let’s go get some more lion’. We’ve developed a system to establish a beach-head and aggressively hunt you and your family and we will corner your pride, your children, your offspring.”
Terry Hoitz: “How you gonna do that?”
Allen Gamble: “We will construct a series of breathing apparatus with kelp. We will be able to trap certain amounts of oxygen. It’s not gonna be days at a time. An hour? Hour forty-five? No problem. That will give us enough time to figure out where you live, go back to the sea, get some more oxygen, and stalk you. You just lost at your own game. You’re outgunned and out-manned.”
“Did that go the way you thought it was gonna go? Nope.”
I feel like my body lotion has been stalking me.
Differences Between New York and LA
Not many people realize this, but there are a lot of differences between New York and Los Angeles. Some of them are very amusing! For instance:
- New York and Los Angeles are located in two different places! For example, if you are in New York, you cannot be in Los Angeles at the same time. This is because they are different cities that are thousands of miles apart.
- New York is in New York State, while Los Angeles is in California; these two states only share one-fifth of their letters.
- In New York, you often run into assholes with BlackBerries who work on Wall Street and live on the Upper West Side. In Los Angeles, the assholes with BlackBerries live and work in different places.
- Los Angeles’ governor was recently involved in an extramarital sex scandal. By contrast, the governor of New York had sex with an entirely different woman.
- New Yorkers like to make fun of people from New Jersey. Angelenos like to make fun of people from New Jersey three hours earlier.
- The Mayor of New York is a short little Jewish billionaire named Michael Bloomberg. The Mayor of Los Angeles, on the other hand, is a man whose name I don’t know.
- People in Los Angeles are fake. But in New York, fake people live near an ocean called “the Atlantic.”
- New Yorkers think they’re better than the rest of the country. Angelenos, on the other hand, only think they’re better than the part of the country to the east of them.
- New York is an unparalleled hub of international commerce and culture, and is one the world’s truly global cities, offering an infinite variety of activities, opportunities, and experiences. The same is true of Los Angeles; but plus, LA has an Ed Hardy store.
Did you know that this game is called different names through out the globe? That has messed with my perception of reality tonight.
My tumblr profile face was just recognized on the streets of Budapest for the 2nd time in two weeks. That is some indie shit right there. Fixie bikes and yeah.
I refuse to lie anymore.
(Source: ulikethis.ca)
My favorite explanation of the Soviets spread of Communism:
“Europe was shattered and vulnerable after WWII, which is the only reason communism took hold. So basically Stalin was the guy who rolled into the bar at 1:30am and slept with the drunkest girl in the room.”
Illustrations of violence against children = instant lol.
Smile!
You are having a rather fat head day.
(Source: itsfunnytome)
Risk of Canadian terrorism increases drastically now that hockey season has come to a close.
via dudelol
